I thought I’d stop writing here. Stop complaining and stuff…

But I guess wat I really want 2 do is stop thinking. Stop trying 2 figure out. Stop feeling the need 2 care and rectify - so as to stop feeling useless.

I did for a long while actually. I could read the news without getting all riled up (but the bush still manages 2 piss me of at the sight of him). In fact I lost interest in reading them. I’ve even avoided political/serious conversations lately focusing more on trivial matters. The last serious conversation I had was months ago with my dad n bro at breakfast. I’ve lately even managed 2 laugh my head off at the various statements that our beloved leaders have been making lately - without the sad sigh at ugly theatrics they r putting up 4 the world 2 c.

But after all that attempt of being an airhead / bimbo I got bored. I started 2 space out in the middle of conversations unless of course they were really juicy gossip (hey a gal needs a healthy dose of gossip k – so shoot me). How do they stand it I dun understand. Instead I started to have conversations with myself - creating scenarios that were a tad more interesting than my reality (looks like my bro has his 1st patient in me).

Another reason is that my drive 2 write anything has been on a stand still. That is frustrating. My brain is like an abyss which is sad and I can’t seem to hold a thought for long. Every writing attempt is on a hold – even writing this takes time dun even bother with poems. I miss them actually.

I guess at the end of the day my subconscious is wishing that my life stays put as it is – no change… time 2 face the music brat! aih wat do I do with me…

I think Taiwanese series are killing my brain cells.. but wat can a gal do? I’m addicted!

Hopefully this sad hiatus will end…but then again..

the tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live - Norman Cousins -